The Last Night in the Nursery
by sariahbradshaw
Summary: Really, Killian had been hoping for Star Wars this year. He'd be a great Han Solo and her mother was already Leia in a different time. A baby Halloween bit featuring the cygnet.


They've let little Cait decide their Halloween costume since her very first one, when she put up a fuss about the little crown on her head until her father started into the words of the book that always, always seemed to soothe her.

 _"...and Max said, I'll eat you up."_

And truly, Killian never minded. He didn't mind wearing the itchy horns that first year, too enamored with the little cooing girl strapped to his chest to give a whit about anything else.

And the next year, when little Caitriona fell in love with a lion costume, of all things, at a market on an out-of-town trip: her bright blue eyes wide with delight and she giggled back at him and pet the fake fur with delighted tiny fingers; he was the one to convince Swan into the Scarecrow costume while he donned a hideously made gray contraption that banged against his knees.

("You know you could-

"I'm not being Dorothy, Killian. We are literally going to see her tonight when she gives out candy and pretends like she wasn't just banging Ruby a second okay."

"Of course love I was thinking-"

"Nope. No one else. You're not 'love'-ing me into a different costume because you know who else is giving us candy tonight? The actual Wicked Witch of the West. Who kidnapped my brother, threatened my son, cursed us for a year, nearly drowned you, sent us back in time, and gave up her magic and now has an overactive instagram account and probably shouldn't drive. Which, you know what? Since Regina defeated her I think that also makes her Glinda or whatever and-how the f-udge did you convince me to do this?"

Silently, Killian simply held up their two-year old, humming in quiet joy and still-slightly gummy smile as she stroked the mane of her lion costume.

His wife sighed. He wasn't the only one enamored around here. "Right."

Halfway through the night, Cait discovered her tail and her shriek of delight and giggles were worth everything.)

But this, _this_ was something else.

There was an actual ghost attack when she was three, so Halloween was cancelled but this year. _This year._

At four and some change Caitriona Jones was: articulate, precocious, charming, and very, very stubborn.

("Can't imagine where she gets that from, Swan."

"Shove it, Captain. She actually waggled her eyebrows at me when I told her to finish her carrots before she could have cookies yesterday.")

And her parents, being the commanding heroes and law enforcement of the town totally: picked their battles.

And yes, Killian could admit, he often caved more often than Emma but to see his blue eyes, Liam's blue eyes looking back at him imploringly and Emma's blonde hair reminded him how much they had wanted her, and how long they had waited for her, and how they nearly lost her before even meeting her, and how she was named after his mother-

So, _Daddy_ sometimes bought that lollipop from the grocery store or read just one more bedtime story-

And well, Hook has never denied that his wife was the stronger of the two of them.

This though, this is still too much. He's putting his boot down on this.

"But Daddy-" Her voice had absolutely taken that tone of overacted affection that had often bought her lollipops and extra bedtime stories. And oh gods, she was wriggling her pale little eyebrows at him. "You already have the hook. It would be pe'fect."

"Perfect, little love." He correctly automatically, making a mental reminder to add some more words with 'r' in their phonetic games even as he debated whether she was intentionally sounding younger to seem more beguiling because Cait would totally do that and-

He needed backup, is what he needed. Because she had her soft curls in little bows today and it let him see how her little ears curled like his and she was wearing that black shirt with the little skull and crossbones she had picked out to surprise him and her little arms were hugging his leg-

From the opening of the kitchen, Killian Jones could hear his wife snickering at him and knew, with a sinking stomach, he was doomed. That for Halloween this year he was going to have to be-

* * *

"Captain Hook-" Will spit the word out, a dirty grin appearing on his face as he started bellowing with laughter. "Oh _Jesus_ , Captain Hook."

"Language Scarlet," He hissed back as menacing as he could under the awful obstruction of the fake black moustache curling to his collarbones.

Some of the artificial hairs got sucked into his mouth, gagging him slightly and ruining the effect of his menace.

Will was clinging to the doorknob, bowled over with amusement. "You-Hook you- _hahaha,_ that's a great look for you mate."

Killian debated how much trouble he would get in for knocking the bastard flat out at Belle's door.

The little hand on his chest reminded him, a lot. He would get in a lot of trouble.

"Uncle Willy," Cait's little cry rose above the sounds, a little indignant at being ignored if her little face said anything.

Swallowing down the last of his laughter, Will pulled himself upright to smile at her. "And what are you, little lass?"

There was a twinkle in his eye as she asked, his face softening into an actual, human smile when he looked at her because her father was _totally_ not the only one smitten by his daughter.

(The first time Caitriona Jones met Will Scarlet, her mother had just thrown him in the drunk tank and left her alone for-she timed it-two minutes and seven seconds to grab the booking paperwork from her office.

Only to return to find that her two-year old, who had been happy scribbling just a moment ago, had actually crawled through the bars of the admittedly pathetic jail cell and was sitting straight on Scarlet's chest.

And Scarlet had apparently woken up and was staring straight into a pair of wide blue eyes and a still slightly gummy grin.

No one moved for a whole other minute.

And then Cait swatted his nose and absolutely shrieked with delight when he blinked and repeated the exercise.

Will looked briefly to Emma for help and she caught, under the drunken haze and incredulity of waking up to the world's most inquisitive toddler apparently fascinated with your face, a distinct longing and instant affection.

And so Emma just shrugged and let it happen.

Because she had just seen Will Scarlet fall in love with her daughter and it was kinda fucking adorable. And like, Cait was totally going to fight being removed from her new playmate and it was two in the morning.

Thus, Uncle Willy was born.)

"Silly Uncle Willy, I'm Peter Pan. See?" She gestured proudly to her pointy green hat, nearly knocking it off in her enthusiasm.

Scarlet stepped forward to grab it, nodding succinctly. "Aye, of course little lass. Silly me. And let me guess your father is-"

He pretended to look Hook over again, his previous amusement returning.

"Shove it, Scarlet." Gods, he was going to burn this moustache when they were done.

"Cap'ain Hook!" She shouted excitedly. "And Mommy 's Wendy because she said she could'na fly and fairies have to fly so no Tinkerbelle. Her hair looks so pretty and-"

He started at that. Swan had somehow gotten out of a costume? The traitor. Leaving him to the whims of-

"-and then we found your costume Uncle Willy!"

"Wait what?" Her father and adoptive uncle said at the same time and he'd bet his ship that Cait's smile had turned into her mother's mischievous little smirk somehow.

"Mhmm." She nodded sagely, the top of her hat knocking Killian's chin from her perch in his arms and she attempted to lean in to Scarlet and whisper. "Because your Uncle Willy and that's Mr. Smee's first name."

Killian started vibrating with restrained laughter as the blood ran out of Scarlet's face and his daughter pulled an awful cardinal cap out of the plastic pumpkin bowl she he had hefted on his hook.

Oh his wife. His glorious, clever, scheming wife. The moment she got back with their hot chocolate he was going to kiss her until-

"Eh, but I've got to give out candy little lass, see?" He helped up his bowl imploringly, smiling sheepishly at Cait in a futile attempt to escape his fate.

Killian didn't even need to turn his head to know how wide her eyes had gotten, that she was biting her little lip and soon that tone-"But, Uncle Willy-we can't do Peter Pan wi'out you. And then Halloween would be _ruined_."

Hook couldn't contain his laughter as Scarlet sighed in resignation, warning Belle that he would be out and accepting the red terror.

* * *

And when Tink laughed so hard at them when they reached her doorway that her magic accidentally burnt out a light, Captain Hook didn't mind so much.

At least she was laughing at Scarlet too.

...But if he got home and wrote a biting letter threatening Walt Disney for slander, well that was his business.

("Jesus Christ, Killian, it's a cartoon."

"It makes me look foppish and incompetent."

"Well, you did spend like $57 dollars in hair products the other day."

"Swan!"

"Think of how sai Cait would be if they stopped playing her favourite movie on TV."

"...")

The things he did for his daughter.


End file.
